Saturday, April 26, 2014



April 25
At CGS, Mao san is helping me translating the  I Am You campaign to Japanese so, its easier for local to understand Malaysia transgender issues, i'm going to give it away during the pride this Sunday. Followed Mao san to xerox the flyers around 100 A4 and cut them into 2. The printing room contain many printers and cutters, some machine are quite hi-tech and very fast. I told Mao san everything in Japan is very convenient or Konbini and joking this country is Konbini-nation. 

Mao san also is helping me to organize an exhibition at the university library this end of May to early June, we going to have a workshop like an art therapy workshop because i told Mao san about my new research asking the LGBTIQ people to draw or express themselves on paper like a kind of art therapy because usually for transwomen and from my personal experience we're gong through suicidal phase when we we're young and hate our body so much. Suicide rate among trans people are high probably lack of support, when they were young they have intense hatred towards their bodies or what some scientist called Gender Dysphoria and being in this condition with lack of help from organization and most kicked out from home and do sex work since young. 

I can't wait for this Tokyo Pride Sunday, i felt lucky because last year i get to join Manila Pride and this year Tokyo pride. a friend from Kuala Lumpur and Manila will also coming to join the fun and the festival is  a big awareness campaign for a conservative society in Japan.

Monday, April 21, 2014


any cause that's worth fighting for is for another fellow human beings

Friday, April 18, 2014

Both Sides Now-Dhillon Khosla

*Both Sides Now-Dhillon Khosla
Last week i return back this book back to CGS, cried a bit here and there. Us transwomen is another side of the same coin. What i like about this book is how he perfectly described many situations of being in gender dysphoria. Towards the end, i copied down some of my favourite parts in the book, that in a way describe what transwomen and transmen are going through their lives.

pg.290 - Energy (Dhillon was talking to a butch lesbian but her gender identity is female)
"As we continued talking i had the sense that i was talking with more of a male buddy than a woman. There was something clearly masculine in her energy and she spoke to me in a man-to-man' kind of way."

pg.291 - Rights/Condition
I was struck by her notion of what was 'All right' and i suddenly felt this strong urge to shake her and say, "What do you mean that's okay?
Don't you know you deserve better?" I was surprised by my own reaction.

pg.292 - Gender & culture
Were body image and cultural roles in extricably linked? Or wether they separate?

pg-298 - Goal/Transition/Sleepwalk
Will i ever be able to rest? "For as long as my mind knew that i wasn't finished yet, as long as there was more distance to travel, same part of me just couldn't let go and fully engage in life. I was afraid - that i would become complacent. One day i would find myself among the ranks of those who sleepwalked their way through life and justified their compromised existence with dull-eyed clichés like, "Hey as you get older, you learn to set your sights a little lower."

pg.308 - Not giving shit about other people say
"You're all reminded me of an anecdote about Albert Einstein. During his time, there were many who thought he was odd and they gossiped behind his back,  referring to him as unkempt and dirty and eccentric. One day, one of his colleagues came up to him and said, "The things that people are saying - doesn't it ever bother you? "and Einstein responded, No,- i don't live there."

pg.314 - Transwomen
Since this was their final surgery, the three had all been on hormones for years. But what stuck me as most extraordinary was just how ordinary they all actually were. And i came to understand why they hated the term 'Drag Queen" or "Transvestite". For those who fit under such terms were typically and exaggeration or caricature. But theses were women. ordinary women.

Thursday, April 17, 2014



It was a very beautiful day indeed, the band Likkle Mai covering a classic song Tokyo Kid in their dub/reggae style help increasing the serotonin levels and making you smile and skank subtly to the song showered by falling sakuras,_Tokyo

Thursday, April 03, 2014


Warming up to the book that i suppose to illustrate, these are some experiments using thin line Faber Castell PITT pen base upon photos of people i've met in Japan.


Warming up to the book that i suppose to illustrate, these are some experiments using thin line Faber Castell PITT pen base upon photos of people i've met in Japan.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014


Koenji walk.

At Yuki san's bar with Genmai san, Akama san in Nagoya