Sunday, March 23, 2014

the strokes

Here are some of the pen that i bought from the 105¥ shop Daiso and 1 slightly expensive pen from a stationary shop. Just to experiment. So usually its up to which one you're most comfortable with doesn't matter how much it costs, as with the saying different strokes for different folks.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

HB day

before the clock strikes 12, just knew it's a Happy Hellboy day today from the inspiring Mike Mignola.

futoi-sen/thick-bold line

Recently, when i exhibited  my work at the Kunitachi film fest, someone ask me that why most of my work are in black and white drawings. I forgot what I've said maybe something along 'i love good line quality'. This obsession about line quality came about subtly when i started to work on my zines. Because everything is black and white for the photocopy machine. And with an old obsession of mimicking child like naive and unexpected raw line drawings, and with past experience working on big walls doing graffiti which i learn later which is to choose big simple bold visuals for a greater impact or catchy to the eye, instead of many,many details but with so many fillers which i learn to strongly dislike later as well. Not so far back then, i have this thoughts that when we were young, you tend to impress people with your drawings with so many details but in actuality its just fillers, combined with today's world where we live in a noise (billboards,advertisements,tv,smartphones everywhere) and in the grid. We're the fillers of the bigger pictures and if there's an empty space, a void or a simple bold shapes is breathe of fresh air in the static ocean. Sejuk mata memandang like my mom says. So until now, I'm still obsess with simple line drawings but with bold strokes.

…and my ammo for making drawings is about to finish and i couldn't find it anywhere even here in Koenji. I use to buy loads of this pens from Daiso KL, and Daiso here didn't carry these babies anymore. So anyone out there can find this precious plastic water based that comes in pairs bold line pen. Please have a try. Feels like knife through butter. 2 illustrations below were drawn from this pen.
They have almost fairly consistent line quality.

Friday, March 21, 2014

with Misha san from Akane pub

I was introduce to Misha san from friends who work at Nantoka bar. Misha san is a queer or gay person but from a working class as he mentioned. He become master (person who run or handle a bar/pub on a designated day) to Akane pub around 10 years a go. He also mention he scared to go to Nichomé, a famous place for LGBT/Queer people hang out mainly because of financial problem. Nichomé is a place with many type of pubs & bars to hang out and meet people but for Misha san the place was quite intimidating and also from the appearance of other queer people to everything that relates to money. He didn't go there for a long time. I ask him wether he belongs to any Queer or LGBT group and how he get support from his peers, he said he don't belong to any and he's just happy where he is, so far the people at Akane pub is his close friends and family.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


i find it very interesting that in Japan also not just there are MTF (male to female transgender) or FTM (female to male) transgender but also a new term that maybe unfamiliar back home which is MTX /FTX , X indicates lack of gender, or refuse to be box into the gender binary or in other words, here there are more and more people who rejects the label male and female. I'm still not sure wether the X person made a conscious decision or they feel that way, some said they feel that way but some also choose to be X. 

Maybe in malaisea, this comes later after everyone familiar with the SOGIE (sexual orientation and gender identity/expression) concept...

and here's an example of a struggle of a person fighting for the X recognition

and as everyone knows deep down inside, human being is much more complicated and more fluid than a simple label

Friday, March 07, 2014

looking back

sometimes i miss the old stroke,

sometimes the seed from the past is blooming and its time to go back and harvest,

sometimes the past is a bookmark where you'll glad to be back, reflect and move on...

Tuesday, March 04, 2014


This post is about yesterday's film screening or what they call it Kunitachi Queer film fest.

-"Kokodenaidokoka" : (Director Nakagawa Ayumi 2010/64 minutes / English subtitles)
-"Living as a woman/Transgender Troubles" (Director: Ebata KaoruNozomi 2011/100 minutes / English subtitles)

So yesterday after some preparations before the film screening, displaying some of my illustrations on trans issues, we get to see the 2 films which is for me very, very interesting. I wish all my LGBTIQXYZ friends from PTFoundation, Seksualiti Merdeka, ATP, Ganda Filipina,etc,etc, are here with me watching the films.

Kokodenaidokoka is about an everyday life of a gay person in Japan. The director of the 2 films have a same approach following their subject matter around and its like we're watching their private lives up close, very personal, about their relationship with their love ones, family, and their interaction with society. I was surprised to see the person or actor first hand when he came to attend the screening and then watching his private lives televised right in front of our eyes. When they ask me about the films, i just said in malaisea its a bit impossible to do this and screen it in public without some security measures of the doors kicked down by the authority or religious police. But i thanked him for being so brave to have sharing with us part of his life.

Living as a woman or another title is Transgender trouble is also like the previous film, the film director following her subject matter around with a handheld camera and what i like about this film is the conversation between the person recorded and their thoughts and ideas on gender, sexuality,society,and other things often discussed within the transgender community. I find it very interesting as well that every country transgender struggles on health issues, passing issues, sexuality issues, gender issues are some of the similar things and there are also some differences. It looks like in Japan, the non-hetero people are all bundled up and labeled sexual minorities and i was told these 2 groups don't mix so much. Like in the Philippines, where non-hetero-normatives are bundled up and often called 'Bakla' which is a derogatory word equivalent to the word 'pondan' in malaisea. But i think in malaisea non-heteronormatives blended in with heteronormatives people quite well despite the divisions in class,race,economy, religion, ideologies etc...ah ok, too long but the 2 films are well recommended. The issues are too familiar and might not be that different from other Asean countries.

Oh for the artwork display during the film fest, l learn how to print stuff from the thumb drive at 711.  Very 'konbini' indeed.